Like many Americans, I was vested in this past Presidential Election, was looking forward to the progress we would make with a Democratic Senate, Hillary Clinton in the White House, and for the first time in 42 years, a Supreme Court where liberal progressive thinkers were in the majority on the bench. On November 8th I woke up early, had my morning coffee then walked up the street and around the corner to our local library to cast my vote...Straight Blue Ticket from top to bottom, and then went for a walk on a beautiful sunny day with my camera, my step light, not a care on the horizon as I strolled along the Hudson River.
When dusk arrived, evening darkness settling in ordered in food and got myself settled on the sofa ready to watch the returns coming in, a bottle of Champagne in the refrigerator ready to be uncorked when the News made it official that for the first time ever Americans could say, "Congratulations Madam President". The bottle of champagne still takes up space in my frig, the cork never popped, the celebration replaced by a deep sadness as the reality that Donald J. Trump had won the Electoral College votes necessary to be our next President tried to sink in.
Some six weeks later, the reality is far worse than any of us thought it could ever be, the man now President Elect far worse than the monster we had seen out on the Campaign Trail. Some have moved on, accepted what will be, returned to their daily lives, struggling to pay their bills realizing that for them not much has changed, or will change with the changing of the guard in Washington, DC. Myself...I am having a hard time accepting the unacceptable, frustrated that our Government is far more concerned with a "Peaceful Transition of Power" than addressing what was not, is not a "Free and Fair" election, as even those in our own party seem to be complicit in the betrayal of us. Where is the backbone of our party, their will to fight and take a stand?
Trump'ers screaming at us on Twitter, "Get over it, YOU LOST! Stop your whining and accept it, Trump is your President."
No, he is not. Donald J, Trump is the antithesis of everything I am, everything that I have believed in for 60 years. As an abuse survivor, the man pushes every one of my buttons, has brought back those silent screams and memories of things from so long ago that I thought were put away. I read his tweets, or see him on the news, and find myself being triggered almost 24 hours a day, sleep fitful and filled once again with nightmares of things I wish my eyes had never seen.
My urge is to run away and hide, sell everything I own and just disappear...a knee jerk reaction honed in a childhood filled with abuse. Reality finds room in the maelstrom of my emotions and I realize running means the abuser wins...so I stay, hoping for a chance to take a stand, to fight for that which I know is right.
No, he is not. Donald J, Trump is the antithesis of everything I am, everything that I have believed in for 60 years. As an abuse survivor, the man pushes every one of my buttons, has brought back those silent screams and memories of things from so long ago that I thought were put away. I read his tweets, or see him on the news, and find myself being triggered almost 24 hours a day, sleep fitful and filled once again with nightmares of things I wish my eyes had never seen.
My urge is to run away and hide, sell everything I own and just disappear...a knee jerk reaction honed in a childhood filled with abuse. Reality finds room in the maelstrom of my emotions and I realize running means the abuser wins...so I stay, hoping for a chance to take a stand, to fight for that which I know is right.
It is Saturday morning at just after 3AM...I should be in bed sound asleep, but I feel like an inmate sitting on death row knowing that America as we knew it will be executed on Monday when the Electoral College casts its votes...I am hoping for a miracle, praying for Obama to step in and make it all right again, while knowing deep down in my heart that nothing can stop this train from hell from leaving the station, frightened at what is to come.
The recounts we counted on to set the record straight were halted by courts controlled by Republicans. The CIA and FBI admitting that Russia interfered in the Election, but claiming not enough so to throw the election to Trump. Hello, he lost the Popular Vote by almost 3 million voters, and won four crucial battle ground states by less than .00006 percent of the Popular Vote, but lets all pretend his margin of victory was enough that we can dismiss the deliberate interference of a Foreign Power in our elections. The hope of the Electoral College receiving a briefing by the CIA dashed, and Hamilton Voters willing to vote their conscience shy by almost 20 dashes our hopes of a miracle come Monday...our fate is set, America as we knew about to die.
The recounts we counted on to set the record straight were halted by courts controlled by Republicans. The CIA and FBI admitting that Russia interfered in the Election, but claiming not enough so to throw the election to Trump. Hello, he lost the Popular Vote by almost 3 million voters, and won four crucial battle ground states by less than .00006 percent of the Popular Vote, but lets all pretend his margin of victory was enough that we can dismiss the deliberate interference of a Foreign Power in our elections. The hope of the Electoral College receiving a briefing by the CIA dashed, and Hamilton Voters willing to vote their conscience shy by almost 20 dashes our hopes of a miracle come Monday...our fate is set, America as we knew about to die.
Old song lyrics racing through my mind, "Bye bye Miss American Pie, drove my Chevy to the levy but the levy was dry..." you know the song, or at least a large number of you do. Monday is the day the music will die, the day that a fascist President begins his war on immigrants, Muslims, working people and America's elderly, and lets not forget a war on the only planet we have as Climate Deniers in his cabinet roll back rules intended to slow Global Warming in the name of Big Oil as Sarah Palin's Army once again begins to chant, "Drill Baby Drill."
My Lord, why has thou forsaken me?...I know, a rhetorical question since the Evangelicals have told us already that Trump's elevation to President is all a part of God's grand plan. Are you kidding me? The man was recorded saying "Grab them by the pussy!" and freely and openly stirs the passions of racist hatred at every appearance on the Campaign Trail and "Victory Tour"...can someone from the religious right explain this to me as I really just don't get it...the man is everything that Christians supposedly would find repugnant, and yet you supported him in numbers that are staggering. Did you hate Obama and Hillary so much that you felt the Anti-Christ was a better choice?
People are saying we let Barack Obama down, and that is true. More importantly, we let America and everything it is supposed to represent down. Everyone who played a part in this tragic charade has blood on their hands, owns the role of Judas who sold his soul for 35 pieces of silver. For all of us, "I'm sorry America".
I leave you with this old protest song that brought me solace in my early years as I tried to deal with the turmoil that was the 60's, a time when it seemed like we were on the brink of destruction, the America we knew a shadow about to vanish in the wind. A good cry clears the mind, lets us reconnect to our heart. Have a good cry and pray for America, it may be our only hope of a miracle in our hour of need.
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